This is not my first ‘in between’ period in life. And during the first of them, I learned quite solidly that it was hardly a mere in between. It was after I dropped out of college, after the cafe where I was going to work closed down suddenly, and before I moved to Gainesville to work on starting The Heart & Soul Cafe. Those six months ‘in between’ were some of the most weighted, in terms of being shaped, of my life. The relationships I formed that formed so much of who I am and how I interact with people today. The pursuit of real intentionality. The letting go of external affirmation.
In Gainesville as well, despite having five different sources of income, I had an abundance of free time. And with my newfound knowledge that busyness is not synonymous with important or valuable, I did not seek to participate in more activities. I decided to instead focus on forging a foundation and growing from there. I started exercising regularly for the first time in my life. I ran every single day. Christy and I became vegan for the year, and we spent a lot of time focusing on what nutrients we were putting into our bodies, in addition to what levels of deliciousness we were putting on the table. I sought to balance social time and solitude. I actually had the space to look at all of the ways in which I spend my time, and ask whether each one was really important to me. And why it was important to me. I learned that so much of how I filled my time was due to this feeling of cultural or social obligation. I didn’t actually want to be that busy, I just felt like I was supposed to. So I let some things go. Others I added. But intentionality became an absolute priority in my life.
I think I have the propensity to come off as quite whimsical and spontaneous. And while I can enjoy those attitudes, I function better with discipline. The times in my life that I have taken the time and energy to build really solid foundations, to set in place frameworks for my life, I have thrived.
These first few months in Australia have not looked like I would have imagined, had I tried to build a picture in my mind. In some fabulous ways, as straightaway I’ve gotten to experience some gems in random corners of Victoria. But I’m nearly two months in now, and I have a copious amount of unoccupied time to manage. The first two weeks I was here I spent all of my non-adventure time recuperating from the three months of transversing the US and Canada. And that felt great, that felt right. And then I had some more adventures available to me, so I decided to put off finding a job even further. Which took me to just before Christmas, handing out my cv. As it turns out, I only applied for two jobs, two that I would be really excited to get. Unfortunately, due to holidays, the whole process has been dragged out for a few weeks. Which, again, so many empty days. I’ve been systematically exploring Melbourne, and on the days where it’s not sweltering, that has been fun. Anna and I bought proper maps of the city and markers to fill in where we’ve been and what we’ve seen and what’s been good. And I am filling a notebook with my hopes for and experiences in this city. But, these things cost money if you want to do them properly. I have plenty of savings to last until I acquire a job. But it’s not like I could go spend a bunch of money every day for two months and not feel it in my bank account. So some days I explore, and some days I don’t. All of this to say, I’ve taken this period as another opportunity to work on constructing a foundation.
I’ve started doing yoga first thing every morning. I spend time each day with no distractions, just my thoughts. On Christmas day I decided to go (mostly) vegan again, so I’ve been taking more time to cook nutritious vegetable filled meals. I’ve been trying to spend time learning every day, either by listening to podcasts or listening to TED talks or watching documentaries or reading. I’ve been a lot more creative lately than usual.
Don’t get me wrong, I’m excited to start working. I’m excited to learn new things and be challenged and have forced interactions with people frequently (sad and humorous, but so true). I’m looking forward to having income again after five months of only negative movement in my bank account. But…I don’t think I would have made any of these other things a priority if I had immediately filled my life with a bunch of…busyness, and I’m glad for all of these in my life. I’m glad I’ve had this strange bonus time to be intentional.
to fathom the world 